Did you every notice that the world seems full of people who aren't aware of anything past their own life? People who are so self-centered or insensitive that they don't can't conceive of a wold not exactly like their own?
I have come to expect this type of stuff outside the home, like the Mom who, after staring at Emily's legs for 5 minutes (while I stare back at her, waiting for her to realize what she's doing), turns to me and say "....um...can I ask you something?"
And I wince. Here it comes. A statement. A question. An opinion I didn't ask for. A story I don't care to hear. Like, "Sometimes the ups and downs of having kids is so hard. When my son fell and broke his arm, I was a wreck. Just a wreck. It was so hard, having to go to the ER. But he was okay. Your daughter will be too. I know what you're going through..." Will it be filled with insensitivity, such as "What's wrong with her"? Will it be filled with unsolicited advise, like "isn't she too big to be carrying around the store?" Will it be filled with comparisons"So-and-so was walking at 11 months. 11 Months! How old is your daughter?"
But lately the insensitive stuff is happening...online. I mean, how naive of me to think the walls of my house could keep this stuff out.
Case and point, another SB Mommy found knee pads on Amazon and shared the link with everyone on our *Online Mommy Support Group* It was an awesome find. I've been saying for the past few months that Emily needs knee pads. Her little knees are rug-burned and sore, and it's only going to get ten times worse once she has shorts on. Or once she's outside on concrete. And keeping her in pants won't work (one of the meds she's on causes overheating).
So I went on over to Amazon, and before investing 20 bucks in them read the reviews. First the good ones. Then I went to the 1-start reviews. There I found this:
"This company must be in kahoots with Walking Wings to corner the market on one-time use, money wasting produced geared to overprotective parents with nothing better to do than worry about jr. This time, it's the impact of floors and carpets on knees. If a child is crawling enough to damage their knees, then they should start walking. By the time my son's knees were red from carpet burns, he figured out walking was faster and less painful. Ta-da, a three week preemie walking before 12 months. Use the money for something important, like a college fund."
This *Product Review* by Charles H Randall...oh wait, it's not a *Product Review* at all. It certainly doesn't review the durability or use of the product. Instead, it's a parenting review. This guy went out of his way to cast judgement on anyone who buys this product. He assumed certain factors, and then doles out parenting directive. Apparently, if Charles' kid can do it, then shame on everyone else who can't. And shame on their parents, too, because we don't know how to parent. The implication he has here is, if we were *good* parents, or we had *smart* kids, we wouldn't think twice about buying these and our kids would just learn to walk of their own. That must be a pretty nice bubble this guys lives in. It doesn't even dawn on him that some kids can't walk. It's not even on his radar.
You know what, Charles? You are right on some points. I am a bit overprotective. Like when my kid won't stop vomiting and we rush to the ER to rule out a shunt malfunction. And no, I don't have anything better to than to worry about my baby, like after she's choked during lunch again and I worry, Is this it? Has her asymptomatic Arnold Chiari malformation become symptomatic? Or spending endless hours at night worrying about her kidney reflux.
I guess in this guys eyes, all these things disqualify me for his parent-of-the-year award. But you know what? He can keep his award. There are worse things in the world than being an overprotective parent...like thinking you're the world's best parent...or sitting on your high horse casting judgment on everyone else...or not realizing that people with disabilities or delays are part of the world.
I have come to expect this type of stuff outside the home, like the Mom who, after staring at Emily's legs for 5 minutes (while I stare back at her, waiting for her to realize what she's doing), turns to me and say "....um...can I ask you something?"
And I wince. Here it comes. A statement. A question. An opinion I didn't ask for. A story I don't care to hear. Like, "Sometimes the ups and downs of having kids is so hard. When my son fell and broke his arm, I was a wreck. Just a wreck. It was so hard, having to go to the ER. But he was okay. Your daughter will be too. I know what you're going through..." Will it be filled with insensitivity, such as "What's wrong with her"? Will it be filled with unsolicited advise, like "isn't she too big to be carrying around the store?" Will it be filled with comparisons"So-and-so was walking at 11 months. 11 Months! How old is your daughter?"
But lately the insensitive stuff is happening...online. I mean, how naive of me to think the walls of my house could keep this stuff out.
Case and point, another SB Mommy found knee pads on Amazon and shared the link with everyone on our *Online Mommy Support Group* It was an awesome find. I've been saying for the past few months that Emily needs knee pads. Her little knees are rug-burned and sore, and it's only going to get ten times worse once she has shorts on. Or once she's outside on concrete. And keeping her in pants won't work (one of the meds she's on causes overheating).
So I went on over to Amazon, and before investing 20 bucks in them read the reviews. First the good ones. Then I went to the 1-start reviews. There I found this:
"This company must be in kahoots with Walking Wings to corner the market on one-time use, money wasting produced geared to overprotective parents with nothing better to do than worry about jr. This time, it's the impact of floors and carpets on knees. If a child is crawling enough to damage their knees, then they should start walking. By the time my son's knees were red from carpet burns, he figured out walking was faster and less painful. Ta-da, a three week preemie walking before 12 months. Use the money for something important, like a college fund."
This *Product Review* by Charles H Randall...oh wait, it's not a *Product Review* at all. It certainly doesn't review the durability or use of the product. Instead, it's a parenting review. This guy went out of his way to cast judgement on anyone who buys this product. He assumed certain factors, and then doles out parenting directive. Apparently, if Charles' kid can do it, then shame on everyone else who can't. And shame on their parents, too, because we don't know how to parent. The implication he has here is, if we were *good* parents, or we had *smart* kids, we wouldn't think twice about buying these and our kids would just learn to walk of their own. That must be a pretty nice bubble this guys lives in. It doesn't even dawn on him that some kids can't walk. It's not even on his radar.
You know what, Charles? You are right on some points. I am a bit overprotective. Like when my kid won't stop vomiting and we rush to the ER to rule out a shunt malfunction. And no, I don't have anything better to than to worry about my baby, like after she's choked during lunch again and I worry, Is this it? Has her asymptomatic Arnold Chiari malformation become symptomatic? Or spending endless hours at night worrying about her kidney reflux.
I guess in this guys eyes, all these things disqualify me for his parent-of-the-year award. But you know what? He can keep his award. There are worse things in the world than being an overprotective parent...like thinking you're the world's best parent...or sitting on your high horse casting judgment on everyone else...or not realizing that people with disabilities or delays are part of the world.
BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVO Liz!!! I sure hope you wrote a comment as well! Unfortunately there are ignorant people in this world who thinking of nothing but themselves and could care less about anyone else. I know it is one of the hardest things to do honey but try to consider the source and ignore them. I for one know full well that Emily could not have a better more caring mom in this world. I am so proud of your accomplishments honey....don't let ignorant people get you down because the people who really matter know you are the best mom there is!!!!
ReplyDeleteXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
I am cracking up at "a three week preemie." What? As in the baby was 37 weeks along and therefore full term? That is AMAZING, that kid is like superman. Good for you, Charles.
ReplyDeleteOH BROTHER!!!! ! I was "amen"-ing you through that whole post! What an ignorant, self-righteous, blind, man. I hate when things like this happen - when our hearts are pricked and our eyes sting with angry tears. But you are SO right to share this with all of us - your family - so that we might remember this and feel connected instead of disconnected if/when something similar happens to us. And Colleen - crack up! You're right too! lol. Love you guys!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE THIS!!
ReplyDeleteI thought the same thing, "Wow 3 weeks premature? you must be beside yourself with grief!"
Kudos to you for writing this!
Somebody needs to remind this Charles that he's not in charge! ...and that he's a giant tool.
Hope you don't mind, but I posted a comment back to Charles.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fool.
Kristin- you're so funny. Hopefully he can think outside his bubble next time. Here's hoping...
ReplyDelete